At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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