Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
