Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
