I seem to have left my pride at pride
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
