He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
