So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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