Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
