Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
handjob tips. give me some.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
