she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
