Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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