Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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