If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
