About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
