it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My vagina is officially offended.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
