When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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