No subtext here. People are naked.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
