Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
