i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Welp...herpes.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
