Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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