He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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