Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
