he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Also, beer. Big fan.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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