i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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