no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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