He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
