I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
