would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
