i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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