Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
