I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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