and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
