Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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