I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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