So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
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I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize