He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
