i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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