He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
is this the sara with the beer cane?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
