just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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