You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
