I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
