I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
You left your phone here
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