You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
