My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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