Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
