how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
