don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
