lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
