God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
