you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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