i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
