dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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