this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
