Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize