Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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