The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
wow bdsm is so cute
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
