life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
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