Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
two words...techno handjob
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
