just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
