12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
