Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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