apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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