Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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