Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
