Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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